Love, love love. It has been my driving force throughout my life. & yet I never really understood why until now.
There are many ways up the mountain, & there are many ways towards that ultimate aim - enlightenment, or heaven, or whatever the fuck you call it. Mine is love. In all its forms, in all its beauty & despair; I am slowly beginning to understand love.
Anyway, what is heaven? Is it some place that we go to in the future? Is it some gift we have to suffer for in this present moment? Why can't it be here & now? Why wait?
Sorry, potong stim moment: Tantra is not only about sex. I guess by now you would have realized that the post title was just to catch your attention; you nasty dirty minded human, you!
To me, Tantra is a love affair with life. The little things in life, even those considered 'plain' - can you see the beauty in them??? Are you open to the gentle nuances of life, the little things which add up to make this life so beautiful? I understand now why I could stare at a flower for yonks, or stop dead in my tracks to photograph a random door or rock...
A random door in Rishikesh. Somehow, looking at this particular door, I wonder what stories it would tell. I wonder what lies behind it. The mouldy, peeling pink & cream colours only add to its rustic charm.
The moment I started appreciating Tantra was when I learnt about the concept of saying 'yes' to everything. No 'good', no 'bad' - everything just is. Because how can something exist without its opposite existing at the same time? Just imagine: how could you right hand exist if your left hand did not? Life is a shit storm of dualities! What the hell do I get if I promote one & reject the other? What the hell does it all matter, at the end of the day??? Everything which I thought was 'bad' led me to something good, & some things which I thought were 'good' led me to something bad; so why the hell should I judge & work myself up over things???
Tantra not only teaches us to say 'yes' to everything, but also 'yes' to ourselves. YES, in our totality! Why to fuck yourself up with foolish notions of how you should look, how you should behave, what you should achieve in this life; if you take a closer look at the reality of things, nobody is 100% happy with their lot in life. You ask the world's top supermodel, she will say she is not happy with something other than her looks. You ask a world leader, he will say it is something unrelated to power. You ask a schoolboy, he will say something about growing up & being independent. Ask an adult man, he will probably say something about being grown up & independent! What a joke!
You can't love anything else if you don't first love yourself. You cannot accept anyone/thing else if you cannot first accept yourself. Truly, loving oneself is the basis of everything else. Even in your perceived 'weaknesses', your 'failures', your 'flaws'; why the hell to beat yourself up over it? It is exactly your 'weaknesses' & your 'strengths' which make you a totally unique individual, an individual which can never ever exist in the complete same manner ever!
But no! The world goes on creating divisions; the commercial companies keep creating ideas of 'right' & 'wrong', the politicians promote what is 'good' & 'bad', the religious people tell you what is 'dosa' & 'pahala' (for lack of better words in English); & when somebody comes along & tells you very simply: Everything is A-ok as it is; you say he is mad???
I could say a lot more, & in fact I am practically bubbling over with passion on this topic. But enough words for now. They can never fully explain.
I really love Coldplay's new music video of their song Up & Up. I could not sleep last night & randomly watched the video. It had me laughing from that 'I see what you did there' feeling, to crying halfway through because that feeling got too real. In my opinion, you can't live fully without at least a hint of madness. Life is maddeningly wondrous. You have to be mad enough to see the absurdity that is life.
& you need to be completely mad to learn about love & life. I've definitely gone bonkers. It was necessary to enable me to learn about loving others. Oh man, if you could only feel what I feel! To love without expectations, without clinging, or without even so much as a single want from another, except for that person's happiness & joy, as well as my own; it is one of the defining moments of my life. What we know as love is all about possessing, about giving & taking, about what I can get from this person; oh shit can you just leave all that BS behind?
All these experiences have been simmering within me for the past few weeks. & it is absofuckinglutely beautiful. Most of the time I just want to dance & laugh (not to mention eat, bahahahah!). So don't be surprised if we drive past each other & you see me either dancing or laughing alone!
Namaste; love & gratitude to you all, my lovelies. Writing this, my heart is bursting with love & joy. I am grateful for everything that was, everything that is, & everything that will be. I understand now what it means to be absolutely drunk on life. ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤